Doklam Standoff: Thoughts on the Endgame

       Sharing some ramblings on the way the standoff has played out so far. I say ‘so far’ because it is still not over. Far from it!

        Will not go into the background of it all. Have already shared my thoughts some days ago in this BLOG POST. For a historical and geographical background to the nature of the dispute, this short BLOG POST should suffice.

        Bottomline is that Dolam is indeed a vital piece of ground for China, not only because it will enable them to rapidly cut off the Siliguri Corridor during war, but also enable unhindered observation of the same during peacetime due to the commanding heights. So here’s what China did. Some years earlier, it offered to forego its claims on other parts of Bhutan in exchange for the Dolam Plateau. Basically China told Bhutan – We will let you retain your own lands in North if you let go of your lands in the South!

        Bhutan decided to graciously decline this ‘generous offer’! Regardless, China kept up its claims and poking Bhutan until the 2012 agreement to agree to retain the status quo on ground. And full marks to China that they stuck to this agreement for FULL FIVE YEARS! But the ‘inevitable itch’ soon shifted from its Eastern Bum (South China Sea) to its Western Bum(LAC). Soon the flag bearers of the so called ‘Peaceful Rise of China’ peacefully marched into sovereign Bhutanese territory with impressive road building equipment. The OBOR had arrived in Bhutan, so what if it was sort of uninvited!

        But this is where China realized that the warts on its Eastern Bum are a tad bit different from the warts on its Western Bum! Whereas the PRC could easily steamroll over its smaller neighbours in the SCS, in Doklam, however, the Chinese found themselves on the other side of the steamroller. Literally. Indian army came down and destroyed whatever road the Chinese had constructed thus far. The Chinaman was zapped. This was not what he was told would happen! He was told by his commie bosses that the Elephant would turn tail at the first sight of the Dragon. Now the Chinaman was confused. And enraged!

        How dare the barbarians to the West refuse to kowtow to the Middle Kingdom! Thus started the sabre rattling (or the noise of the empty vessels, if you will!) Enraged princelings revved their super car engines in anger in Sydney. VERY LOUDLY! (LINK)

        Then came a ‘cute’ little video on the Seven Scenes of India by the State Broadcaster. But full credit to them in taking pains to ensure it was NOT RACIST (India-China border dispute: Bizarre video mocks New Delhi with racist stereotype) at all! In fact they even put out a cute little Sardar!


(I’m sure his photos must still be circulating in WhatsApp groups in the Land of Five Rivers, he is just so ‘cute’!).


        However, all that huff and puff was met with a DEAFENING silence by India. So much so that a dozen page long ‘chargesheet’ let out by Beijing was met with a one line statement by the Indian MEA! Leave along kowtowing, the barbarians simply dismissed the Middle Kingdom with one sentence. Yes, ONE SENTENCE! The Dragon was now stuck riding the Tiger. It didn’t know how to get off without being devoured because, well, they are very well aware of how the PLA might fare in case bullets started to fly (People’s Liberation Army – Calling the Bluff)!

        So they decided to do a very ‘clever’ thing. They announced that the Indians had unilaterally started withdrawing from the ‘Chinese Territory of Dolam’! Bad move!

        The Tiger now replaced its deafening silence with a low growl. There was no such move by Indian troops, he said. Poor Dragon. Yeh daanv bhi fail!

        The Tiger was very clear on what he wanted – Chinaman OUT of Bhutan and restoration of status quo. Now the Winnie lookalike was worried!

(Who’s Winnie, you ask? Well this LINK should help :D)

        BRICS summit was fast approaching. And the barbarians, far from kowtowing, were making fun of him (LINK)!

        Didn’t they get the memo wherein they were supposed to roll over and die at the mere sight of the Chinaman? His plans for a grand ‘victory’ right before the BRICS Summit, and more importantly, the Chinese Commie Party’s Congress soon thereafter, where he was to proclaim himself the next Chairman, after Mao, were in danger!

        But just short of his moment of glory, not only was he being shown a middle finger by the Tiger, but also his much vaunted PLA was at the receiving end of flying karate kicks from the Indian Army at the other end of the border (Blow by Blow Analysis of the Pangongso Lake Incident)DIUBibyUwAAIGuE.jpg

        Finally, the Dragon realized he’d bitten off more than he could chew. His huff and puff wouldn’t work across the LAC. The Tiger was in no mood to humour him. Far from that, in fact,the Tiger threatened to devour him instead. Bottomline: Fatt Gayi (India Building up Troops and Supplies Along Border Amid Doklam Standoff: Alleges China)

        With the shrill antics (and of course the Video with the cute Sardar!), the Dragon had become the laughing stock of the world. One so called ‘gentleman’ by the name of Hu kept up the rambles, but the Tiger thought is was (LINK)!

(Note to self: Get eyesight tested to avoid reading Hu as Chu next time)

        Finally, the Middle Kingdom blinked. It huffed & puffed and quietly requested the Tiger – ‘Saar, galti se mistake ho gaya. Plizz adjust na thoda sa.’ The Tiger’s bottomline was clear. You and your road – Bugger Off.

        The Dragon meekly acquiesced in private even as the benevolent Tiger permitted it to continue huffing and puffing and saying we will keep patrolling and yada yada. Quietly though, the Dragon also said that it has ‘decided’ not to construct a road any more (LINK). (Translation: Even though it is MY territory, Tiger doesn’t want me to make a road here)

        But then there were some internet warriors who didn’t get the memo and kept bleating ‘China Win India Lose’! Some of them were quietly and ‘patiently’ explained facts in a language that they understood best – use of graphics (LINK). 🙂

        The Dragon left, all his fire extinguished. The Tiger got what it always said it wanted – NO FCUKING ROAD. Period


This, folks, in a nutshell, is what happened to the Dragon’s ‘nutshells’ in .

Thank you for your patience 🙂


One thought on “Doklam Standoff: Thoughts on the Endgame

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s