So folks, sharing some thoughts on the recent spate of statements and counter statements on the Paki F-16 that was shot down by Wing Commander Abhinandan Varthaman. I know its a bit late in the day, but what to do, I was mighty busy through the last 10 odd days!
Anyway, here goes ..
It all began on the last Jumma Day on 5th April. After his weekly Jumma bath, the Brown Pants Propagandu-in-Chief started his PropaganduOfTheDay with the national motto of the Republic of India – सत्यमेव जयते.
Oh, only if he knew what was to follow!
Not to be outdone, the Beggar-in-Chief soon followed His Master’s Voice!
By soon, I mean a day later, because presumably, it took him about 24 hours to get rid of his Jumma ‘High’. Being too tired, he too stole the सत्यमेव जयते part from the Propagandu-in-Chief’s tweet, though.
So, what exactly had happened, you ask?
Well, a Gori Memsaab had written a piece in a Western publication, no less, that Beggaristan’s American masters had come to take a quick count up of Paki F-16s and declared that all were intact!
So ‘excited’ was the Propagandu-in-Chief, that he took a bit longer than usual in his weekly Jumma shower bath and almost yelled out MARTIALLAW as he ‘finished’! Thankfully, he quickly corrected himself and yelled सत्यमेव जयते instead! (No pun intended, Sachchi!)
BUTT .. he thought as he ‘finished’ ..
Oh, well, I digress. He and his shower ‘thoughts’ are none of our business!
Coming back to the topic, the Gori Mem endorsing the Brown Pants was a BIG deal indeed!
In the midst of all this ‘excitement’ early on a Jumma Din, there was a ‘slight’ oversight by Shri Propagandu-in-Chief. The Gori Mem had based her entire ‘scoop’ on unnamed ‘sources’ from the power circles in the US of A!
Heck, even Baskin Robbins guys could produce better ‘scoops’ than this one. And what’s more, their ‘scoops’ would be quite tasteful to the palate than the Shit that the Gori Mem managed to scoop and fling, to much cheering by Brown Pants, for obvious reasons!
So here was the deal – a Gori Mem citing unknown ‘sources’ Vs a Two Star officer of Indian Air Force OFFICIALLY confirming an F-16 claim. Hmm .. difficult choice, no?
As far as the Brown Panted ones go, Gori Chamdi wins. Always & Every Time. Esp, when flinging Shit!
Just to refresh you all, here is what the IAF officially acknowledged in its presser right after Wing Commander Abhinandan shot down the Paki F-16.
(Here’s the link to the above tweet and the thread it was part of – Link
Alternatively, here’s the link to the blog that archived that chain of thoughts – Link)
Of course, there was the little, ‘uncomfortable’ fact that the Pakis themselves had admitted to losing one of their own aircraft in that short but epic engagement over the lands of Kashyap Mir, better known as Kashmir today.
Here is how it went.
Soon after the engagement, the Pakis were exhilarated.
TWO AIRCRAFT SHOT DOWN!
THREE PILOTS CAPTURED!
No one thought to confirm whom those aircraft belonged to. Typical of the ‘quick shot’ Propagandu-in-Chief, he let one out .. err .. prematurely .. yet again!
After a while, there was time for an update to be given to Shri Propagandu-in-Chief.
But who would dare do it, since it would expose his proclivity for premature .. err .. whatever .. in front of the whole world?
His little Brown Panted minions went into a huddle.
Soon, the inevitable happened.
The Propagandu-in-Chief left for his afternoon potty.
NOW was the time to tell him, the minions decided.
“Err .. Saheb .. there is a breaking news regarding the air battle .. one of the captured pilots is our own”, they shouted from outside his latrine door and ran away before he could pull up his pants!
He grumbled a few ‘jumma eve compliant’ expletives and quickly rushed out, his potty business only half done.
‘Damn those idiot minions’, he grumbled, ‘if only they weren’t so gorgeous ..’
A quick few phone calls later, he had the entire ‘free’ media of Beggaristan outside his office.
There are only TWO Indian pilots, he said, including one in hospital.
Not one of the ‘free’ Paki pressmen asked, लेकिन जनाब, सुबह तो तीन पायलट थे!
Here is the video of that press conference. Watch it from the 4:50 mark
But then again, in the spirit of सत्यमेव जयते, later in the day, someone updated him again. Janab, wo hospital wala bhi apna hee hai.
DAMMIT, he croaked, his throat parched, YE TO GHANI WALI DE-PANTING HO GAYI AAJ!
But there was a job to be done.
Like the true Brown Panted Soldier that he was, he tightened his belt, applied his makeup, and went online again.
Jee ek hee pilot hai hamare paas!
Even as he said this, he let out a silent curse on the unwashed ‘citizens’ of ‘azad’ Kashmir for beating the two Paki pilots to death.
Not just that, they had also gone on record saying that there were a total of 2 planes and 3 pilots that came down!
But then, he wasn’t the Propagandu-in-Chief for nothing!
He decided to counter the uncomfortable truth by simply ignoring it!
No F-16s were used, he croaked next.
Oh, btw, the Indians had recently purchased a used AMRAAM from OLX!
(Link to above tweet – Link
Alternatively, here’s the link to the blog that archived that chain of thoughts – Link)
Phew, too much ‘excitement’ and propagandu for one day, he thought as he changed into his silky pyjamas at night and went to bed, smartphone in one hand.
His other hand is well .. none of our business, to be frank.
Things went on and on over the next few days and weeks, but the Propagandu-in-Chief had a genuine doubt in his mind – DID THAT IDIOT PAF CHIEF BETRAY THE BROWN PANTS BY HOLDING BACK THE INFO OF LOSS OF HIS F-16 AND HIS PILOTS FOR SO LONG?
But well, saannu ki!
He already had a TRUMP Card up his sleeve.
No not Shri Donald Trump who is actually quite annoyed with the Brown Pants, but that Gori Mem and her ‘unnamed’ ‘sources’!
Until, the Pentagon punctured his wet dream!
But trust the ‘free’ Beggaristani media not to question any of this. They’d rather collectively orgasm at the thought of endorsement of their ‘stand’ by a Gori Mem!
As for the Paki Awam, well I’ll just leave this Blog post here for you all to judge!
Just in case you are exasperated by the Propagandu-in-Chief’s blatant propagandu, just remember the lineage that he comes from!
His exalted predecessors published this ONE DAY AFTER the surrender in East Pakistan!
Then, right after the 1971 war, was the fantastic Paki claim that India was lying that they had shot down a few of their brand new Mirage fighters!
Heck, to prove their ‘claim’, they even lined up ALL 24 of their Mirages for the entire world to see.
It almost worked!
ALMOST, because soon thereafter came the French who said that the Pakis had, in fact, taken deliveries of 28 Mirages!
Not that the Jordanians too were asking – Oye hamare Mirage kahan gaye jo tum saalon ko loan pe diye the ladai ke liye!
Beggaristan, folks is a country which is based on a bunch of lies!
Lies, that have sustained it because no one found it worth their time to question them!
Until now, that is!
This is a country which still believes it won the 1947-48 war.
And get’s its propagandu poster wrong!
It still claims that it won the Kargil war, but won’t tell you how! It still claims that no regular troops of its Brown Panted Army participated in the Kargil War, but won’t tell you that it awarded a Nishan e Haider to Capt Kamal Sher on recommendation of the Indian Army!
It is a country ruled .. nay .. OWNED by its Brown Panted Army, who believe boom and bluster is a viable substitute for valour on battlefield.
Here’s a video which describes this hubris the best!
Vinaash Kaale Vipreet Buddhi
Yahya Khan on East Pakistan
BUTT .. coming back to the Propagandu-in-Chief, seeing that he was on a sticky wicket (Once again, no pun intended!), he also laid out the missiles recovered from the Indian MiG21 debris.
All seekers are intact, he crooned!
Even while he was typing in his next tweet saying ‘WE WON, 😛’, came the reply by a veteran Indian Fighter Pilot, Air Marshal Anil Chopra (Retd), bursting his pretty little bubble!
His air force had trolled the Propagandu-in-Chief yet again by not telling him that atleast two of the missiles had their warheads missing, i.e. they had exploded near their targets!
DAMN YOU BLODDY FIZZLE YA, he silently cursed them once again!
In order to quickly move on, he directed the the loudmouth Foreign Minister, to cry, Hindustan hum pe hamla karne wala hai. Ye rahi tareekh!
Ok, folks, at this point I was forced to interrupt this chain of tweets on Twitter to welcome my first Paki. He is a perfect example of what I mentioned earlier in this blog post – WILL NEVER QUESTION THE OFFICIAL PROPAGANDU!
So back to the blog post.
The loudmouthed one’s crying wolf was met with justified ridicule and a tersely worded statement by a bureaucrat in the Indian MEA. This threat, masked as a cry for help, too had been dealt with appropriately.
I wind up this blog post with a hat tip to Sqn Leader MM Alam who claimed to have shot down five Indian jets in 28 seconds in 1965. His claims were taken at face value and he became an overnight hero, one used even today to remind Indians how AWESOME the PAF is!
Yet, one wonders why no one talks about the dozens of Indian aircraft he would have shot down in 1971. Truth of the matter is that he wasn’t allowed to even fly in 1971! Btw, I’ll leave this piece here without any further comment – Thirty Seconds over Sargodha.
Do read it!
With this I conclude this blog post. Thank you for your patience, folks.
I end this blog with the words I said before – सत्यमेव जयते.
Oh btw, this 👇 is what happened in the middle of all this propagandu warfare!